Creeping, Insidious, Slow Onset, Inescapable

i guess its a sign of age when people who are your contemporaries start to pass away. although i didnt get to attend the wake service of Dr Alvin Tan, i'll still treasure the few reflective moments i had at his coffin-side. i hope that when its my turn to be the grey thing in the box, people will be able to remember that he was so much more than the sum total of the present contents of the box. that he lived, loved, fought, prevailed, created, healed, taught, made his impression in the world and cast something good out of it. will people miss me when i die?

OS posting week got off to a good start. got an assistantship and a LA exo done in a patient who wanted a 4-by-8 clearance. first time using a Warwick James too. and after that got to see Prof Yeo do an IMF on a patient with a left mandibular condyle fracture. arch bars with 0.5mm wire, heavy elastics and a little bit of magic, and you can really see the fracture reduce before your eyes! cool stuff...

Love and Honesty - BoA

Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation

here i am resuscitating the old blog. time flies, and so do stress levels. even a lack of work is stressful, its highly weird having no labwork to do because my patients aren't ready for prosthetics. blame it on my E&D i guess... and thats the bloody last time i do E&D under an instructor who doesnt give a shit. 3 extra cavities undetected! blows the mind...

watched Memoirs of a Geisha on saturday. its kinda weird with chinese people doing japanese characters. and Mameha is a bloody hilarious name! apart from that... well, nice visuals. okay plot, even though the ending was like so obvious as to be visible a mile off. and Gong Li has like a 1 unit right upper midline shift! very disturbing when she smiles...

Soh dug up a voice comms program to enhance our DotA playing experience. now i have an excuse to use the pre-packaged telemarketer-style headset i have. and the rest of the guys have been urged to pick one up for ourcombined gaming pleasure. Operation Jue Dui DotA-Star in progress!

心の手紙 - BoA

Salvage Rights

school isnt getting any easier, i really hope that i can keep pace. the work load is pretty crazy cos of how sessions do, or dont, line up so as to facilitate our work.

had an amazing perio session, got to finish a class IV in one hour flat! it looks tolerable despite the lack of assistance, and while i think it could have been better aesthetically with an assistant to help micro-manage, the patient is happy. contours have been rebuilt. occlusion has been checked. and i can be confident of filling this kind of cavity.

the new battletech campaign is looking up. placed an open bid to sell off a salvaged JR7-D at 70% of cost, hope someone buys. need more firepower, and a VND-1R fits the bill. but need to ditch the unwanted mech to save on pilots. the unit really is picking up nicely, with a mix of mobility, speed and firepower in the medium weight class.

A Sea Of Blinding Light

new year is the time of year where we binge-eat and feel sorry after! after like 2 large dinners in 3 days i feel the bulge coming back with a vengeance. wont be long before all the musical stress weight loss is counteracted.

met up with the 24ths at Hui's place on friday night. pretty well attended with the right people to keep things lively. and none of the obnoxious people who would make things awkward. there was almost exactly enough food, and we played some amazing polar bear! i think im a real sucker for RPGs...

the post-production party at Turtle's place was pretty good too! more amazing food and a lot of fun. its just a pity that parties have to end and that i tend to run out of steam around midnight. and this time there was enough food to really make me bloat. wonder what happened to all the excess...

Red Wall

PJ complained my blog entries are getting more boring. i think the internal filter must be working overtime, because if ya really think about it the days that go by cannot be completely boring. but i also wonder if every little wonder or petty disagreement or chicken wing consumed makes for good reading.

played a round with Stan and some random outsiders. lost the match but i got an offer to join clan RoTK. like... wow. the players i've seen in game arent too bad, above average actually. and he wanted me to join for competition purposes. his play was... ok though. the presence of an SA always turns a match into a gem party. had to do a lot of gem repo rounds. and i declined the offer. to have a BDS in my match account nick is all the clan i need.

My Vampire Heart - Tom McRae

Shady Crimbo Afternoon

so how did this holidays go for me? as the holidays evaporate away into nothingness, i can say that have not accomplished much. played enough, gone out enough. rested well. eaten good stuff. seen nice movies. but was it worth it? i hope so! im finally done with the musical. and i think it did leave its mark out there. but next year, im gonna be an usher. for sure.

Under The Old Raintree

another long overdue entry in a dying blog... seems like all the blogs that my class writes are dying by apathy. perhaps we're sick of seeing each ohter rant about our closed lives. or how tired we are in the face of all the nonsense that school flings at us. i know i could do with another holiday. spent on the beach with an enthusiastic puppy and a frisbee or sth.

its almost over, it really is. i guess this is gonna be the last pre-production entry about the musical. its been too damn long in its inception, and the labour of making it was troubled. its gonna be over soon and frankly it doesnt look to bad at all. hope that people dont fall apart on us as we hit the stage on the nights. hope that the cold air in the auditorium doesnt kill off my voice. hope i dont get winded moving and singing. hope Ben doesnt screw up her solo. hope the people i invited come!

went down to do an E-case yesterday. i swear... provis will be the death of me. broken provi, he said. and it was actually the metal of the stainless steel crown form coming apart. haiz... after smoothing that off and recementing, i decided to redo the adjacent provi that had awful overhangs what were contributing to gingival inflammation. at 4.30 i figured that i was dying and had to go to the DC for help. at 6.00 the patient was discharged. i now have a new idol in Dr Lim Boon Kuan, who is like amazingly fast and efficient as she works. one day i will be bloody fast like her. such economy of movement... and i still hate doing provis in live drooling patients.

翼の計画（花王ラビナスＣＭソング） - Do As Infinity

Songs Of The Future, Lyrics Of The Past

i must be going through some bad-ass down-period if i simply don't feel like writing for long periods of time, especially if writing has always been so therapeutic. but somehow in the life that ive been leading for the last month or so i simply can' find anything nice to write about. and the bad stuff has been axed by my internal privacy filter. i wish it wasn't this way. but thats life. there are times when there will be problems but you just can't scream them into the north wind, or in this case the Net, because there is just too much at stake. you never know who's down south. and i have so much to learn, so much to do, and so much to grow into.

infections suck. this pharyngitis just doesnt want to bugger off and i wake up every morning with bits of phlegm waiting to be coughed up. as an aside, the Nokia dictionary doesnt have the word phlegm. and i fell a bit sick every day but not sick enough to go to the doctor. this is just annoying.

just ripped a CD off of Anqi. this is the first Jay Chou CD to actually make it to my hard drive, and it doesnt disappoint. good melodies, though i cant comment on the lyrics. wish i could just have the time to lie down somewhere and fall asleep with my music collection playing in my ears softly. bugger this...

夜曲 - 周杰倫

A Little Bit Late For That

why in the world would Do As Infinity disband? i'd say their career was still going strong, and their songs were always good to listen to. maybe they got bored and wanted to start with something new and unprecedented. wonder how Van Tomoko will sound as a solo singer? they will be sorely missed...

watched Harry Potter and i've got to say that the thicker these books get the more time they'll need to cover all the points in the book. i mean, for goodness sake, kids may have short attention spans but the movie felt so... rushed! Krum didn't quite look they way i expected, the Triwizard challenges felt so short and Voldemort didn't look threatening enough. it was really just an okay movie, watched for completeness.

Under The Moon - Do As Infinity

Dessication

who the heck has my Jack Johnson CD? i'm supposed to lend it to Debra the violin girl, and i can't find it anywhere!

finally fitted and issued my F/P, and im so happy its out of my hands and into his mouth! all those evenings spent a-grinding and a-cussing, and now i get to see my little plastic labour make it into a mouth. we'll see how it does at the 1-week review, hope it isnt covered with muck and gross stuff. still have his old one in a plastic bag, goldfish-style, in my cupboard as a failsafe...

dance practice for the musical has finally started. woke up on the morning after hurting in the arm cos of heaving the lead actor around. like... hey! he's supposed to be lighter than me... the absence of some of my chorus is disturbing, because they will have a lot of catching up to do, being able to sightread is one thing, but dance cannot be sight-read.

so is OKC really a neoplastic entity?

牙關 - 五月天

Alpha Strike!

its been way too long since i blogged. what things have passed since my last entry that would have been worth mentioning? what have i done with my life?

today i taught 4 people how to play CBT. its amazing how long its been since i played, i couldnt even find my dice and record sheets. had an early morning heart attack searching my room for my damn stuff, thankfully they were just safely boxed away by my mum. but i managed to get the box set, shitloads of dice and the RS out the door by the time i had to go for orchestra. and then off to Shafiq's for the Great Hari Raya CBT initiation. players: Mao, PJ, Clement and Shafiq. they all got random mechs and set right to it. it was a bit rough-going, because i was rusty, and we couldn't finish the game due to time constraints, but everyone had fun! and that's ultimately what is important. and at least they had guidance instead of my baptisms of fire jumping straight into L2 rules. mebbe some day we'll play again....

Catch The Sun - Jamie Cullum

Only Sadness

i have no idea why but James Blunt has become the singer of the season. he sings melancholic, slightly gay songs which grab your brain and refuse to let go. frankly im afraid of overplaying his stuff but nothing else seems to do anything for the moods ive been in the last week.

im seriously starting to wonder if another half year extra is in the works for me. i feel so damn inadequate in the face of the great work that is my profession-to-be. and the prostho stuff is not coming up fast enough. and the way my out-of-school life is going, i'm enough of a wreck now for 2 men.

No Bravery - James Blunt

There Would Still Be Music Left To Write

somehow havent had the incentive to blog for a long time. my life lately has been a mess of burring and flaming, and tempers have risen and fallen in a steady synchronity with how my patient's teeth are lining up. its frustrating when work slows because of lack of the proper items, and uncertainty about how to proceed. i need to find Mohammad stst on monday morning cos the teeth i've been issued for my Yellow File Ah Pek are too tiny. and setting him up with 3 or 4 anterior diastemata is just gross.

latest hot topic in the local sections of the paper has been aggressive proselytising of patients by the Christian members of teaching and healthcare professions. our nation has been miraculously glued together despite its diverse creeds and cultures, and religion has always been a touchy thing. a disturbing factor is that by nature, Christianity is made to be spread. its methods seem agressive next to the other religions where the usual mode of entry is birth. there is, and i will categorically state this, no such thing as a person born into Christianity. we gain our converts via, you guessed it, conversion. decisions made as conscious, convicted, consenting individuals. so the question is, should doctors be allowed to practice and preach? should they care for the soul of the patient as well as his body? should the dentist have a tract rack in the waiting room and bible verses on the wall where the patient can see as he's stuck in the chair, captive and rubber-dammed? when are lines crossed? where are the lines? how can a healthcare professional be so insensitive? i think amongst all of these the Christian healthcare worker should be sensitive to the call of God. ask nicely before proceeding, and back off if the patient is in pain, just like any other procedure. no preaching during venipuncture, definitely.

How Many Hearts - Travis

I Wanna Give This Imagery Back

the days seem to be flying by in a draining blur. library infestation is in vogue again, and 7 other classmates sit scattered around me in various states of awakeness trying to study Oral Pathology. i have no mood for this. the notes are crap, and i've read through Neville enough times to bore me but not enough times for it to absorb. since when do books absorb into my memory by reading anyhow? there are so many other things to fix up in my life, like my back-dated lab work and patient management and christmas musical and messy messy messy emotional life.

backdated movie review of the weekend is for The Corpse Bride. Tim Burton does not disappoint this outing with the animation, which carries enough subtle touches to show the work of a master. plot is sufficient, not exactly intellectual fodder but easily accessible to kids and adults while able to keep both groups stimulated. charaters are well thought out and mesh well. the musical score and songs by Danny Elfman are excellent work as well, at times giving the movie the feel of a Disney movie gone wrong. this one's worth watching!

picked up Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams from Sembawang before the movie. was impressed by a music video of one of the songs while over in the UK, and the CD did not disappoint. folksy guitar and intelligent lyrics carried on excellent melodies make this a worthy addition to my CD collection. and the music is calming me down even now as i try to refocus on my OP...

Do You Remember - Jack Johnson

Oh Well, It Seemed Like Such Fun

my holidays are now officially over since it's crossed midnight and it is now monday with a vengeance. i officially spent the last hour or so of my hols playing DotA, thrashing some noobs with Mangix the Pandaren Battlemaster, which i think was pretty okay. granted, they werent the most cerebral of opposition, save one decent Medusa player, but i just wish that the rest of the guys were playing too. clan BDS-in-Exile is practically defunct now.

what else have i done with my holiday? went to london, didn't see the queen. learned that even if materials and methods differ, dentistry is still dentistry and standards are required of you even in poor working conditions. saw once again the sad truth of how our class has grown cold to the point where they will not meet to celebrate the happiness of one of their own. clarified and confused myself so many times over... and now its back to the little corner of the lab where i try to work magic and sometimes fail. my little field of dreams, where wax turns to gold. wish the damn ortho wires would turn to gold too, but they just confuse my eyes and hurt my hands.

Little Wing - JAM Project feat Masami Okui

Take This Chance, I Won't Repeat This

the cast and lower Hawley bow lie on my table, half-bent. my brother is lyin on the mattress behind me tryin his darndest to out-sing my laptop blasting Love Psychedelico. all in all, a pretty good morning! the only thing spoiling it is the niggly feeling that school is just waiting to bushwhack me on monday. haiz... how the hell does one bend the wire to be evenly 1mm over the cast anyhow?

here's an overdue movie review. The Brothers Grimm is a bit of an odd concept... fairytales, disillusioned men, action, evil witch queens, comedy, psychopaths, horror and a few beheadings all rolled into one. and somehow it succeeds at entertaining. i guess this was in line with my conjecture that Matt Damon has yet to make a bad call at role selection. set design is right in line with the fairytale-gone-wrong concept, cobwebby, grimey and muddy. the stock villains in the form of campy frenchmen and a whacked italian mercenary are so over-the-top they're actually funny in themselves. and there are enough comic moments to act as stress-breakers, even in the midst of scary scenes. not exactly high-brow art, this movie, but good to watch to de-stress!

Move This Mountain - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Every Beginning Is Another Beginning's End

censorship is a bitch, innit? and yet sometimes for the good of society, and to uphold the morals of the common man who cannot differentiate art from real life, censorship is necessary. and so... unless you saw the blog entry for the half-hour or so it was up you'll never see it. for the good of society!

僕らはヒーロー - Kiroro

Never Further Than Right Beside

im finally home! very thankful that the journey home was much less eventful than the journey there, that i can get a nice shower and a clean bed, and that the room doesnt smell of feet that arent attached to me. and that i dont have to live out of a suitcase any more.

DotA 6.16 is out! that means that i have been out of the loop since... too long. randomed Bloodseeker, and got my ass handed to me. granted, the other team were lanners, but still it was a very painful game. really wish to get the rest of the clan back so that we can train again.

柊（ドラマ「恋文～私たちが愛した男～」主題歌） - Do As Infinity

Know That You Need It And Try To Believe It

i am finally going to bugger off from this wonderful little country. it has been 12 days and 2 version releases since i arrived here, and there are so many things to do back home. wire bending, Behavioural essay, studying for OP and FP, distributing the distressingly huge mountain of souvenirs and shit... and hopefully watching a good movie or 2 at the now relatively affordable SG prices. Pride and Prejudice... Kiera Knightly awaits...

my mattress calls from across the sea
it yells out loudly 'come lie on me!'
and if e'er there were a place to be,
t'would be on my mattress, worry-free .
-Jonathan Ee 2005

Ozymandias

i think Singapore would do well to start importing Walker's Crisps. the Walker's Sensations range is widely advertised in the tube, and i was wondering how, in the adopted homeland of the crisp (known elsewhere as the chip) this product would stand up against other established chips from america like Lays and old series Pringles. the crisps did not disappoint. a small 40g bag of crisps set me back 40p at the Spit, the unofficial GKT ang moh mamak shop. upon opening (which was not easy, as having no centre spine or pre-perforated tear point, one is forced to grip and rip the seam open along its cleavage plane) it was immediately apparent that the crisps were of remarkable thickness. under normal circumstances this would spell instant fatality. but i shit you not, these crisps have excellent crunch. they are brittle like any other american chip. flavourwise, these do not disappoint. Chargrilled Steak & Peppercorn Sauce Flavour Crisps really taste as advertised, and the flavour selection promises to bring a whole new range of subtle, classy flavours to the market. lets face it, heavy cheese a la Cheezels is so Primary 6. now i just have to stop myself from licking the empty bag...