The Fine Art Of Annoying Your Dental Practitioner

or: how to piss me off.

its actually quite strange how patients can find new and inventive ways to piss off the dentist. its not the cleverest thing to do really, to antagonise the person who will be placing sharp objects into your head in an effort to fix things gone wrong in your mouth.

1) say the word 'cheap' more than 2 times in 20min
-yes, i really do like being reminded of how amazingly low i charge in the government service, and how good that makes me feel about the quality of work vs its monetary value
1a) say the word 'expensive' more than 2 times in 20min when i try to refer you, or in reference to the last dentist you saw
-see above

2) address your dentist as 'Mr' instead of 'Dr'
-especially when i specifically introduce myself as Dr Ee. are you deaf, rude or inattentive? we've been 'Dr' since the 1980s in these parts, mind...

3) inordinate squeamishness towards dental treatment
-grow up. please. the days of low-TLC dentistry ended with the last generation. we treat patients well... until they anger us.

4) strange noises during treatment
-some describe the noises as sounding constipated. some describe them as tortured. i really don't want to hear things when im trying to deliver an injection, clear your decay or clean the crud out of your gums.

5) keeping quiet during treatment and then filing complaints with the Clinic Exec after
-why not just tell me before i do things and save us the trouble? if you don't want something, opening your mouth and keeping still is in fact implied consent. so yes, please... don't be an idiot.

6) show a lack of attentiveness when the dentist explains treatment/brushing technique
-these days we work on a basis of information and trust. you must must must must understand what it is that we do. we are only legally empowered to advise, not to dictate. for goodness sake, pay bloody attention when i talk to you. and 'you decide lah' is not an acceptable answer, it reeks of a lack of responsibility.

7) knock on the dentist's door or barge in demanding to be seen when it isn't your turn
-if you can't do this in an ATM queue when drawing money or at HDB HQ when applying for a flat, what makes you think it's acceptable here? and do you really want to piss off the person who will be putting sharp objects into your mouth?

8) act as if subsidised dental treatment is a birthright and not a privilege
-really, if you can wear good clothes, nice shoes and a decent watch and carry a leather wallet with money in it and a credit card and yet complain that $60 2 times a year for scaling in the private is too expensive, what are you actually telling me? thats less than 50 cents a day across the year, for your information...
8a) act as if getting fast appointments is a birthright and not a privelege
-yes, we really are booked up for 3 months solid. welcome to government service! no amount of whining or threatening the Clinic Exec will change this fact, or our desire to honour the appointments of those who came before you.

so yes, 8 ways to piss of your dentist. this is of course not exhaustive. feel free to drop me suggestions so that i may add to this list.