Tugback

i guess it was the lonely dinner of Hongkong Mee in Enclave that kinda settled it for me. feeling too down to go for SF, feeling too down to do just about anything now. i havent had too many desperately low days in this term, but i guess this is one of them.

i really believe that i'm happiest by her side, and i cant apologise enough for all the screwups and mishaps that i visit on her through my clumsiness, ineptitude and bad temper. to see her smile is like seeing a rainbow, her laughter is like a sunbeam shining through the departing clouds of a rainstorm. so much stands between us, and yet it is all but idealogical. i may stand beside her and yet feel the great gulf that separates our hearts. am i destined to admire from the shadows for the rest of my life? relief has yet to come to me, the flame that lights my heart burns so strong that none other has yet to take its place to light up my black little heart. as much as it pains me to consider this, there is the part of me that doesnt want the flame to be extinguished, ever. and, perhaps, all i will have is the smiles and laughter of a blissfully ignorant friend whom my heart beats for.