Unfavourable

its been just over 5 months since i last posted. and i am tired!

just the other day Stan and me were talking about depression. i suspect every person in the class may be clinically depressed. people are starting to crack up under the stress. i know im not coping as well as i would like. delayed dentures, skipped slots, and now a pharyngitis. bugger this. i want holiday and i want it now! but not before i pass those 2 competencies on friday. pulling that off might just make me go down in history for most crazy competency stunt attempted ever, but all i want to do is get some of that junk out of the way.

contemplating a spare exam case. looks like it has a bit of a history, though. talked to the last operator, and not only does the patient speak only mandarin, he also started to find excuses not to see her just as exam time was drawing near. but in itself, the case is damn simple. so tempting...

http://singapore-btechers.blogspot.com/

JT has made up a blog to let us get the news on CBT and official events. so if you love battletech and need some action, get the hell over and check it out already!

浪漫手機 - 周杰倫

My Modus Operandi Is Amalgam

its been way too long since i last posted. too many things have happened in my life to recount, its just a big mess. and yet i find myself writing again. i hope i still find it therapeutic.

finally got round to watching the 4 episodes of Samurai Champloo that Debra the Violin Girl passed to me. it certainly lives up to the hype she placed on it, the standard of animation, the action, the themes are all excellent. its weird and wonderful. people get dismembered to the flashing of blades. got to get more...

its just so weird when not half an hour after you get your special tray looked at, you are informed that the patient for which you prepared it has departed this mortal coil. it seems like now i can rub shoulders with those who were among the legendary suay people of old. it just seems so surreal... the patient only sat in my chair once, and never had any time to make an impression on my psyche. and now he's gone, leaving a legacy of a ratty yellow file, a set of primarys and 2 special trays with no more purpose. a life, just gone like that.

they say knowledge is power, but to be able to use it wisely, that's another thing. on saturday on a crowded bus towards Clementi, i noticed a woman with a lesion on the left side of her upper lip. 2 cm by 1 cm, surface varied from a mole-like raised black to an ulcer on its inferior border. surrounding skin normal. my spot differentials include BCC and malignant melanoma. and what does one do with the information? is it proper for me to go up to a person and advise a consult, just like that? the 70ish woman had a companion, a 40-ish woman. was she her daughter? should i inform her? would that be inerference? i had no time to resolve my dilemma, they got off one stop after i noticed the lesion. we always say we're in it for the patients, to improve people's lives. do we have the power? do we have the courage?

i finally got off my ass and got myself an FP allocation for Mr Cho. to Prof Chew, no less. looks like major ass-kicking for me. thank you Dr Joanne. and damn...

Battlecry - Shing02

So We Hear/ He's Just Coming Back/ From Half A Year Of Withdrawal

my holidays end in 2 hours... but it was good! possibly the best one holiday since i stepped into the faculty. watched movies, painted again, got to sun my ass even. and now the summer days fade away as clinics come round again.

Rent is an amazing movie. please watch it. disregard the Today review. they wouldnt be able to tell good movie material if they'd had it waved in front of their faces. as a musical, the point IS the music! but yet it's done in a way that doesnt break the pacing. Rent is energetic, harmonious, touching, spectacular even. the singing is tight, the acting tighter. and the plot is touching. please, go and watch this. on the big screen. with the surround sound. and a big barrel of popcorn, and someone who appreciates that good things don't need explosions or CGI to work.

Ice Age 2 was viewed with much lower expectations. it wasnt as lame as the newspapers projected, but then again all i was looking for was brainless laughts, which i found plenty of. torturing a flexible and dim-witted furry creature for amusement is fair game in animation! the animation standard is fair, good in the gross concepts but losing out slightly in fine textures light hair quality and ripples. but then again, how realistic do you want talking mammoths?

Tristan and Isolde, was by comparison, somewhat of a letdown. hunky men for the women? not really. hawt chicks for the men? not really. arresting plot? not so... i think Tristan's facial expressions just didnt quite carry it. and Isolde... lets not get started. a forgettable movie , while not bad per se it can only be mediocre at best.

i'm kind of wondering how this term will turn out. after the Great Scheduling Session, Shafiq, Adrian and yours truly ended up in the BK at Suntec having an amazing bitching session. it is most unfortunate that our class, as with any class, has started to show flaws during clinical years. i hope that this term will pass without incident. because i'd hate to be the peacemaker or arbitrator for a dispute in Yr4. there's simply too much at stake here, but by being selfish one merely gambles short-term personal gain against real bad karma. i hope that if anyone tries to play loopholes in the system the class will have the sense of solidarity to not let things stand and make the person see the error of his ways. it will be a sad day for the profession if the graduating class of 2007 come out into the word from a background of backstabbing and cheating.

楽園 - Do As Infinity

Neutral Red

FYP is almost done! its been a royal pain in the hindquarters, doing mathematics, trying to get SPSS (hence SPAZZ) to work and hunting for non-existant things on google.com. had so many ups and downs in the course of 2 days that it's been absoultely draining...

2 overdue movie reviews! the first is V for Vendetta. i'd first like to state that i think Natalie Portman looks better with hair. now with that out of the way, on to the movie itself. i've always been a sucker for good music usage, and Vendetta makes liberal usage of a popular piece of classical music, giving it significance. 1812 overture as a backdrop for the demolition of some of London's great landmarks was an excellent concept. the characterisation was well done as well, with the enigmatic V gradually becoming humanised, and Natalie Portman's Evie gaining some backbone. other minor characters, such as the comedy programme host and the little girl with the pink t-shirt added depth to the plot. visuals were excellent. considering that this movie is more thriller than action (please do not ever compare this to spiderman) there is much less fighting and exploding. but when it comes, it doesn't disappoint. V's showdown deserves to be ranked up within the best fight scenes ever. and if you've been paying attention to everything, it just gets better because you feel for the character by this time.

our second review is Failure To Launch. this might be considered chick flick central, but it does indeed have a story to it. it could have been developed more, especially concerning Trip's prior life, and his 'nephew', but this did not present any jarring loopholes at time of viewing. characters looked comfortable and believable in their roles, and watching animals bite Trip was always fun. the scene where ACE gives CPR to a mockingbird stole the show.

a few days ago i made the discovery that PJ can paint. and well too. dragged my poor neglected painting gear and some minis to her place, intending to give a painting tutorial. my student truly has natural talent. pictures to follow!

Pictures At An Exhibition - Modest Petrovitch Mussorgsky

Chaconne

in a few days the continuing saga of our class will reach another exciting climax. so why do i feel so apathetic about the exams? i think i'm just tired of the whole study routine. people keep saying i should be on the dean's list but i don't know anything! and the lack of DotA is driving me nuts. cant wait to get my computer repaired so i can enjoy the simple joys in life like non-laggy web page loading and fuss-free boot cycles. and yeah... its probably going to cost. far as i can tell the on-board chip is dead. Soh says its as good as 'hello new motherboard' which is so nice to know... that also means byebye to quite a few Yusof Ishaks. damnit...

went to the ACJC/ACS(I) concert today. amidst all the memories and inevitable comparisons of playing standard, i just wonder what it would have been like if i'd stayed current with my playing skills. like, say, if i'd been an ordinary science student with enough time to devote an evening a week or so to go down and play. it's one thing to spot the flaws in people's playing and another to realise that if it was me playing i dont think i could produce the same standard, or even that which i used to be able to put out. and for the record, i miss the days when they used to play the school anthem before band concerts. its a school concert, of course it should have the anthem. some things dont change, driven rhythm makes ACS players sound miraculously better.

need battletech... need to roll dice and blow stuff up...

Cao Cao - JJ Lin

Radeon

have just been wrestling with my computer for the better part of a day. yesterday morning, c/o laptop interrupted boot cycle w/BSOD re: ati2dvag.dll creating an infinite loop. presented to the IBM care centre, at which point my stupid laptop didnt wanna reproduce the problem; a desperate roll-back was (temporarily) successful. in the afternoon the infernal machine proceeded to die on me repeatedly, and rollbacks were instituted repeatedly to no avail. this morning, searched whole damn room to look for original windows discs so as to format C: and get on with life. com then revived itself again and i tried to reinstall drivers. discovered to my horror that ATI no longer supports my little on-board chip. bastards... reinstalled the IBM driver (4 years old, btw) from website. com proceeded to BSOD me again. finally, as of 30min ago, have used a 3rd-party fix that allows the more updated ATI drivers to run for my little, now officially-old, laptop. i'm tired now. and theres still the matter of the broken M key and the possible huge repair bill for fixing that. assholes... hope my laptop can last out until i can at least find my discs. i have a really bad feeling that this might be a hardware problem.

Move This Mountain - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

Beyond The Plane Of My Imagination

exams are up in 2 weeks. besides this marking the end of 1 year in clinics, and my utter lack of attempted competencies, the exams this year seem rather ominous. lets face it, the internal med and surgery admin don't seem to love us very much. lecturers not showing up, screwy ward round timings that mess with the doctors' work schedules... hope we all can pass this one. there's got to be more to this than looking for clubbing and splinter haemorrhages.

CBT looks like my latest greatest escape mechanism. my disciple's love of light mechs and maneuvre play seems to be developing quite nicely. in campaign, Warrick's Warriors have hit 2 lances and look all set to grow even more.

yesterday, Pastor Choo spoke of chicken curry. to paraphrase:
'chicken curry has an essential core which makes it a chicken curry. it must have chicken. it must have curry powder. but how each curry turns out depends on the values your family embraces. if your mum is health-conscious, your chicken curry will have no oil, and little salt. the chicken will have no skin. my mum wasn't a health freak. we were a Baba family, and the most important thing to us was that the curry be tasty...'
which sums up my feelings about food...

공중정원 (Garden In The Air) - BoA

Not My Cause

even with a rather wasted session Dr Yap still amazes me with new techniques and words of wisdom. i wonder if we really do make our patient's problems into our own, i usually try not to but this patient had a filling done which may not need to be there because it's indicated for RCT later. and even when i wanted to hold payment Dr Yap advised charging ayway. but i believe i have to be accountable, the patient is claiming from her company. on the one hand, another endo case is still manageable, but on the other hand if her tooth miraculously recovers i'll be happy too.

just over 2 weeks to exams and i can't find the motivation to study. the books are dry, and i need some nice coloured pens. this sucks.

Joanne has been in the hospital for about 3 weeks, absolutely record-breaking. amidst all her fears of TPN, as well as conversations with the patient today about pain, really emphasise how much of a patient's behaviour is influenced by fears of pain. which leads us to ask, can we confidently indicate RCTs, crown lengthening, double jaw surgery confidently if we're too scared to do it ourselves, and can't rationalise it out within ourselves to have it done. hope her GI gets back on track, cos she's basically been starving for 3 weeks. although not quite as damaging as a post-op catablic state, 8kg and counting of weight loss is quite powerful.

Para Machuchar Meu Coracao - Antonio Carlos Jobim

Who Needs Summer Days?

finally started proper work on my molar endo. working lengths determined for 3 of the 4 canals, and it feels good! TPH is my endo idol now, cos he taught us how to use a ZX and gave us a bit of rationale into obturation technique. hope that this endo turns out ok...

was reading some stuff online and found out that the song Summer Days by Do As Infinity is actually written in english. now because of Van Tomoko's garbled pronunciation, this wasnt apparent to me immediately. and so, i got hold of the lyrics and listened to the song again. it was freaking hilarious!

Summer Days

CHORUS
Summer days, I can't stand the summer days
Frozen cocktails and night fireworks
What's so great about them anyway?
Summer day, let it be some other day
Seaside motels and sex on the beach
Don't be thinking I went all the way

I hate summer days!

Rushing down the traffic, to the beach,
That's jammed for blocks and blocks
They ain't getting nowhere,
Still miles and miles left to go
Strutting down the street, the girls,
they try to impress their boyfriend to be
I give up and don't try
Every day is a bad hair day
Guys, they come up with lame pick-up lines,
Desperate to just get laid
Damn, give me a freaking break!

CHORUS

Goddamn summer days!

Kate was the one, who said that life was made to be enjoyed
Stop crinkling your face
Everything will turn out okay
Serving table to table up and down the isle
Had on a face I'd never seen
Whatever happened to her?
Who has stolen your smiles away?
Who said that summer can brighten the mood of fate?
Nothing is going to change
Damn, give me a freaking break!

CHORUS

Who needs summer days!

Summer days, they have never been the same
Once you left and were out of my sight
Leaving no trace behind
Summer day, why oh why on a summer day?
You were gone without saying goodbye
Taking it all away
No more summer days!

Summer Days - Do As Infinity

Who Am I?

why do i feel like life in school is becoming purposeless? was suddenly struck by a sense of melancholy while doing suction boy and having a generally bad session. my grades are crap. i have no will to do anything about it. my health is spiralling down the drain. i make mistakes in clinic that are totally avoidable. my romantic life has enough landmines in it to stop an armoured battalion. i need a holiday bad. and a secretary. and 6 million bucks. and a big hug.

Creeping, Insidious, Slow Onset, Inescapable

i guess its a sign of age when people who are your contemporaries start to pass away. although i didnt get to attend the wake service of Dr Alvin Tan, i'll still treasure the few reflective moments i had at his coffin-side. i hope that when its my turn to be the grey thing in the box, people will be able to remember that he was so much more than the sum total of the present contents of the box. that he lived, loved, fought, prevailed, created, healed, taught, made his impression in the world and cast something good out of it. will people miss me when i die?

OS posting week got off to a good start. got an assistantship and a LA exo done in a patient who wanted a 4-by-8 clearance. first time using a Warwick James too. and after that got to see Prof Yeo do an IMF on a patient with a left mandibular condyle fracture. arch bars with 0.5mm wire, heavy elastics and a little bit of magic, and you can really see the fracture reduce before your eyes! cool stuff...

Love and Honesty - BoA

Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation

here i am resuscitating the old blog. time flies, and so do stress levels. even a lack of work is stressful, its highly weird having no labwork to do because my patients aren't ready for prosthetics. blame it on my E&D i guess... and thats the bloody last time i do E&D under an instructor who doesnt give a shit. 3 extra cavities undetected! blows the mind...

watched Memoirs of a Geisha on saturday. its kinda weird with chinese people doing japanese characters. and Mameha is a bloody hilarious name! apart from that... well, nice visuals. okay plot, even though the ending was like so obvious as to be visible a mile off. and Gong Li has like a 1 unit right upper midline shift! very disturbing when she smiles...

Soh dug up a voice comms program to enhance our DotA playing experience. now i have an excuse to use the pre-packaged telemarketer-style headset i have. and the rest of the guys have been urged to pick one up for ourcombined gaming pleasure. Operation Jue Dui DotA-Star in progress!

心の手紙 - BoA

Salvage Rights

school isnt getting any easier, i really hope that i can keep pace. the work load is pretty crazy cos of how sessions do, or dont, line up so as to facilitate our work.

had an amazing perio session, got to finish a class IV in one hour flat! it looks tolerable despite the lack of assistance, and while i think it could have been better aesthetically with an assistant to help micro-manage, the patient is happy. contours have been rebuilt. occlusion has been checked. and i can be confident of filling this kind of cavity.

the new battletech campaign is looking up. placed an open bid to sell off a salvaged JR7-D at 70% of cost, hope someone buys. need more firepower, and a VND-1R fits the bill. but need to ditch the unwanted mech to save on pilots. the unit really is picking up nicely, with a mix of mobility, speed and firepower in the medium weight class.

A Sea Of Blinding Light

new year is the time of year where we binge-eat and feel sorry after! after like 2 large dinners in 3 days i feel the bulge coming back with a vengeance. wont be long before all the musical stress weight loss is counteracted.

met up with the 24ths at Hui's place on friday night. pretty well attended with the right people to keep things lively. and none of the obnoxious people who would make things awkward. there was almost exactly enough food, and we played some amazing polar bear! i think im a real sucker for RPGs...

the post-production party at Turtle's place was pretty good too! more amazing food and a lot of fun. its just a pity that parties have to end and that i tend to run out of steam around midnight. and this time there was enough food to really make me bloat. wonder what happened to all the excess...